Pre-natal Angst...

At what point is it that you become old? I mean you start off as a baby (and babies are very much on my mind right now) and then you toddle...all of a sudden you are a child...and then a teenager (which is ALWAYS difficult). After that...you are a young person...but then...then...

When did I go from being a young person into whatever is next? And what IS next anyway? Middle age? I am confused.

Even though I try and stay "cool" and "down with the kids" I have noticed that I am wearing gloves when driving. OK not brown leather with velcro and a mesh/cut-out on the back, but gloves nonetheless. And I am writing this wearing a CARDIGAN. Yes it's a French Connection cool one, with a Tee shirt from H&M under it, but it's a cardigan. And the start of a slippery slope.

All of a sudden I will find myself with a pocket full of Werther's Originals, a flat cap and the desire to listen to Radio 2 and not in an ironic way. I already listen to Radio 4 and am an avid fan of the Archers...

What the hell is happenning to me?!? The slippery slope is taking on the dimensions of the Cresta Run and to be honest it's scary. And I think all this has come out of the big news at the moment - as my third child will be born in the next few days...It's my girl-friends first, but I already have a 17 year old son and a 13 year old daughter - great for baby-sitting admittedly, but it all just makes me feel...OLD.

The writing of this is cathartic, and good for me. Cos in the grand scheme of things I am not old. I am "only" 39. It'll be lovely and cool and I actually can't wait to meet the little girl that is currently wriggling around inside my girl-friends bump. I am in a good place in my life - in my career, in my finances. It all looks really good for the future and I can't wait to face whatever the adventure of a new baby will bring. But most of all I think it will be a good thing that will keep me young. Even if I am old in age.

Just cos I listen to Radio 4 and wear a cardigan now and again - it doesn't mean I have to give up and act my age - I can - and will be a cool dad. The best dad I can be...probably a lot better a dad than I was with my first two kids. And that is the challenge I am happy to face. I like a good challenge you see...

So even though I feel old at times, with aches and pains and moans, I am not THAT old. I mean Charlie Chaplain fathered a baby at 80something...but at least I will still be able to bend over and pick the baby up!